It couldn't come soon enough! I was ready. My mom and brother were in town, Doug's dad was there to support him, my bag was packed and I was ready to have that little booger OUT OF MY HEAD!
I was living - no surviving - a hellish existence and I just wanted it to be over. One way or another, I was done.
Looking back, I wish that we had been given some more information. I wish that someone would have helped us understand a bit more what to expect. Although, there are some things that I was better off NOT knowing about - like the removal of the packing. I still cringe thinking about it!
Some pointers would have helped, but at that time, I had yet to find the support group or anyone else that could help me, and God forbid my Doctor be anything but an a$$. I can't speak entirely bad of him, for he did get me my diagnosis when everyone else (i.e. my Primary Doctor) thought I was just "hiding cakes and junk food in closets and lying about what I was eating." Of course there was nothing really wrong with me, and I was a hypochondriac. Again, I digress....
So, on the morning of Friday, June 10th, 2005, I got up, showered, and headed to the hospital to have my pituitary tumor removed. I honestly don't remember much of it. I have fragments that have stuck with me, like the snack and game bag that I gave my brother to keep him entertained in the waiting room during my 6 hour scheduled surgery.
I also recall going into the OR Prep room with my mom and Doug. I was allowed to take two people in with me. My mom left before Doug and I held it together pretty well. I remember thinking I needed to be strong so that she wouldn't worry. I got the first of my "knock-out" drugs and sortly after that, I was whelled out and away from Doug. I remember crying then, but the drugs were really starting to kick in, so I was able to calm myself pretty quickly. The nurses were excited about me since none of them had ever seen someone with Cushings. They were very kind.
Next I remember getting rolled into the OR. I recall a nurse counting...counting...counting....and that was all, until I woke in Intensive Care to the odd feeling of a leg massage. They had the things on my legs to prevent clots and it felt soooo good! I was terribly thirsty. I asked for water and they said no. "B!TCHE$" I thought and drifted out again...until I realized that I could see the tiles in the ceiling - CLEARLY!!! I was so excited! The vision in my right eye was almost back to normal. Doug said that was the first thing that the nurses told him I said.
I don't remembr much else until I was being released from ICU. I begged for the oxygen mask to come with me to the regular room and I was so glad that they let me. It was cool and moist and I believe that it helped my nose feel so much better in the days that followed in the hospital.
Here is the email update that Doug sent out the evening of my surgery:
Email sent 5:00 pm Friday, June 10th by Doug:
I found free internet access at the hospital and I
just wanted to let you know that Autumn is out of
surgery. She is currently in recovery for the next
hour or so.
The surgeon was very optimistic - everything went
well.
She will spend tonight in ICU - that was the plan...
nothing unusually serious.
She will be in the hospital until Wed or so. Now we
just need her vision to return clearly!
I'll send another email when we know more.
Thank you for all of your prayers and well-wishes.
Doug
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