Eye, Eye, Eye, Aiy...I can not seeeee!

 My Eyesight

Just after I ended up the ER, (prior to my diagnosis), as my body gave out, I found myself at home, too sick to do anything but sleep.  My body was failing me. 

To my horror, I woke one morning to blurred eyesight.  I blinked…and nothing.  I rubbed my eyes…and nothing!  I shook my head…and NOTHING!  Needless to say, I totally freaked out!  I panicked.  I tripped out of the bed and frantically went to the phone where I discovered that I couldn't see the buttons.  I kept thinking I was having a nightmare.  Somehow I managed to call Doug at work and he called the Doctor.  From that point on, we spent many afternoons in the offices of eye doctors doing light and vision tests.  I could see light, but everything else was blurry.  The best way to describe it was like looking through panes of glass with water running down them. 

The worst part was that everyone said they "thought" that my loss of clear vision was a result of the pressure the tumor was putting on my optic nerve.  They all assumed that my vision would return as soon as the pressure was relieved, but no one knew for sure. 

 I was worried.  I had always had 20/20 vision.  I was terrified that I would not be able to see again.  And, with the loss of my eyesight went my ability to drive, and that meant that I was at someone else’s mercy.  This was anything but comforting to me - Miss Independent.

Therefore, you can imagine how thrilled I was to wake after surgery and have some vision back immediately.  But, after that momentous change, not much else happened for a while. 

 Then a couple months after my surgery, I sneezed for the first time.  As anyone who has had this surgery will tell you, sneezing is a big deal.  You are told to avoid sneezing when you leave the hospital.  So the first time it happens, it shocks you and honestly, it feels pretty weird.  But anyway, I sneezed.  After a moment to collect myself and think about whether or not I was ok, I realized, to my amazement, that my vision in my left eye was back in it's entirety.  I was thrilled!  My excitement was not dulled by the fact that having vision in one eye created very odd depth perception issues for me.  I was forever bumping into things and misjudging how close I was to things.  I was always bruised. 

 Then, later in the year, while cleaning my house in a spurt of energy, I misjudged the distance between my forehead and the door-jam I was dusting and whacked myself pretty hard.  I sat down to collect my wits and clear the stars.  Tears streamed down my face.  As I stood up, I realized that a little corner of vision in left eye had cleared!  I walked around looking out of the corner of my eye for a few minutes to make sure that I was in fact seeing a little clearer. 

This was the last change in my vision.  As a matter of fact, in more recent months, I finally admitted that my vision isn't as good as it should be and I went to see a new eye doctor that confirmed I needed glasses. 

 Today, after years of being chauffeured around, I am driving again.  I have to be very careful and pay attention to my depth perception issues.  I had to pretty much re-learn how to see things without relying on 100% of both eyes.  But, all things considered, I am grateful for the independence I have regained.